Handing in my resignation tomorrow. I am indescribably happy.
Don't just fuck the police.
Take the police on a romantic dinner date, and really win them over. Over the course of the next few months, slowly win the absolute affection of the police. Make the police fall in love with you, make the police unable to imagine life without you. Eventually, once your relationship has reached the apex of perfection, tenderly make love to the police. Make the police want you. No. Make the...
I think and think and think, I‘ve thought myself out of happiness one million...– Jonathan Safran Foer (via brain-food)
I'm waiting for a phone interview to start
A three-day-old human embryo is a collection of 150 cells called a blastocyst....– — Sam Harris, on stem cell research. (via thebumblebees)
I just IQd "Big Fat Gypsy Weddings"
and now I’m watching design shows at 1:30 in the morning. I’ve gone crazy with the power of foxtel.
whatwouldmykicksdo: mykicks: sade: I had a dream last night that Mike and I were in Chicago drinking and at one point I was like, “Mike you got so quiet” and I looked over and he was curled up in a wheelchair impersonating someone with cerebral palsy. And I laughed so hard that in my dream I puked and in real life I woke up laughing. I laughed out loud (via sade)
sitting in my new lounge room, watching some SVU and looking through tumblr. Good life.
Spending my day packing everything in my room.
I’m tired of hearing America is the best at this or the best at that all the...– Michael Hawkins, Thought of the day (For the Sake of Science, 10 Mar 2011)
How to sound more sophisticated by changing one...
johnlennonsglasses: barbiespartiesandsluts: LOL → LQL Laughing Out Loud? Psh. Laughing Quite Loudly.
The thing I hate most about Australia:
other than the horrifically hot weather, is the general “cat-hate” that is so flagrant. The amount of times I’ve heard people say that they destroy wildlife, etc etc, or that we should just run them down, or kick them or shoot them. Are you fucking kidding me? True, I was only young when I lived in Canada, but I never heard people being so flagrantly cruel about an animal. ...
One prospective employer rang me yesterday and I missed the call. I called back but all the calls went straight to voicemail. I left a message and she still hasn’t called back. My hopes of ‘ooohh, this might be a second interview!’ have turned into ‘ughh, this is just another rejection call’. Also, the other interview I went for didn’t even get back to me. COME...
Tracy: Why do people have to die?
Nate: To make life important. None of us know how long we've got. Which is why we have to make each day matter.
Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your...– Ralph Waldo Emerson
Your birth is a mistake you’ll spend your whole life trying to correct.– Chuck Palahniuk (via haveyoumetjesika)
I have religious friends, and they’re like, ‘Well if you look, it’s proven.’ And...– Trey Parker, on religion. [full interview here] (via nprfreshair) I’ve always said “Believe whatever crazy shit you want as long as it doesn’t affect me.” (via themattsmith)
Every morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.– - Buddha (via lysergicacidiethylamide) This morning, I’m going to tear down my room and rearrange it. And then I’m going to have a sandwich. (via themattsmith)
wellalright: do you think jesus has a god complex?
Don’t be afraid to be a fool. Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young...– Stephen Colbert (via drinkyourjuice)
Ever gotten into a situation
that was both gross and so absurdly - written slapstick in a movie - funny and then subsequently debated whether you could actually tell someone about it?
Very Good Things
Rent application approved! Waiting to hear back from a few job interviews… Am feeling good [and positive-ish] about one of them, the other… not so much. oh well. I am gaining some forward momentum from all this jogging on the spot. I am thankful for Joseph, as always.
I must be the only person on Earth who doesn't...
spiritguide: Get OFF my FUCKING TELEVISION you WEIRDO. PREACH!
thewhitesade: While we're on the subject... →
sade: Why do women hate other women? 1. Women feel that their biological prime-time is limited. She can easily be replaced by a new younger, more beautiful woman. Youth is a woman’s fair-weathered friend. 2. Women feel that other women control their man’s sexual fidelity. 3. Women feel that their…